Female Led Relationship: Meaning, Signs, & How To Make It Work (2024)

Who calls the shots in your relationship – you or your partner? Every relationship is different. Some relationships are male-dominated, while others are female-led relationships.

Of course, there are more balanced types of relationships where both partners are equals, and there’s no one leading figure who makes all the decisions.

But you’re probably hearing about the female-led relationship more and more. So, what exactly is that?

Contrary to the traditional male-led relationship model, where the male figure is the dominant one, the female-led relationship is the type of relationship where the female partner calls the shots. She’s in the driving seat and is responsible for moving the relationship forward.

In this article, we’re going to talk about the female-led relationship concept, what are the signs that the woman is leading, and how to make it work. Let’s dive in.

What Is a Female-Led Relationship?

A female-led relationship is the type of relationship where the woman is the dominant partner. She makes all the decisions when it comes to the relationship dynamic. 

She is in control and enjoys authority over her partner. On the other hand, the man is considered to be in the submissive position, which was typically reserved for women in the traditional relationship model.

Female-Led Relationship
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Contrary to the traditional relationships where everything is male-led, this dynamic puts the woman in charge.

However, this doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Every relationship should be based on mutual respect and agreement. So, when two people start a relationship, the dynamic is often agreed upon, whether it’d be verbally or non-verbally.

Just because a couple doesn’t want to play the traditional gender roles, that doesn’t mean that they’re unhappy. The male partner doesn’t have to be the dominant one, just like the woman doesn’t have to be the submissive partner.

If the traditional relationship and male-led relationship can work out (if both people are happy with the dynamic), there’s no reason why the female-led relationship couldn’t work either. If both partners are happy with their dynamic, then nothing else matters.

Female-Led Relationship vs. Male-Led Relationship

Here are some differences between female-led relationships and male-led relationships.

  • She makes all financial decisions and makes more money than her partner;
  • The roles are reversed when it comes to household chores, meaning the man is the one who’s mainly responsible for cooking and cleaning;
  • The man is a stay-at-home dad while the woman goes to work;
  • She initiates sex and is in control of their sex life;
  • She makes dinner reservations and plans family holidays.

Different Levels of Female Led Relationships

Not every female-led relationship is on the same level of intensity. So we can categorize these types of relationships into four different levels: low-level female control, moderate-level female control, balanced, and extreme.

Low-Level Female Control

In the low-level type of female-led relationships, the woman is not that dominant. Both the male and female partners make decisions, often together. The man doesn’t have a problem with allowing his female partner to take the lead in some situations and is not afraid to be with a woman who’s an authority.

Moderate-Level Female Control

In this type of relationship, the woman can be a leader but only when she wants to take the lead. She can choose when she wants to make the final call but is also free to sit back and let her partner call the shots.

Balanced Control

This level is becoming more and more popular as people escape the traditional gender roles that society has put on them. In this type of female-led relationship, partners are in a harmonious balance. They both take responsibility for household chores, kids, and other tasks. They are both financially free and in control of the money together.

Extreme Control

At this level, the woman is in extreme control and enjoys complete authority over her man. She likes to be in charge and is the only one who makes relationship decisions. She wants everything to be exactly how she wants it – from house decor to dinner reservations.

Signs of Female-Led Relationship

What Is Female-Led Relationship
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If you’re a man who’s in a relationship with a dominant female personality, this section is for you. Here’s how you can tell if you’re in a female-led relationship.

The woman controls the money

If you’re in a relationship where she’s in charge of your financial situation, then you’re in a female-led relationship. She decides how you’re going to spend money, and she’s probably the breadwinner. When you want to buy something for yourself, you feel like you have to go through her even though you maybe have joint accounts. 

The woman makes all the decisions

She’s the decision maker of the family. She decides where you’re going to live, what you’re going to eat, and where you’re going to go on vacation. Even the small decisions are on her. You feel like you need to ask her for her opinion even when you want to do things your way. She makes all the plans, and you feel like you need her approval to go out with your friends.

The man is the only one in charge of household chores

Contrary to traditional male-led relationships, you stay at home while she goes to work. You’re the stay-at-home dad who has a more intimate relationship with the children. She is not the typical traditional mom figure, but it doesn’t mean she’s a bad mom. The kids love her, but you spend more time at home, and they come to you for help and advice more often.

The woman picks holiday destinations

Everything in your relationship is up to her, even the vacation spots. If she wants to go to Greece, you go to Greece as a family. When she doesn’t want to go somewhere, you simply don’t go there. It’s her way or the highway. She makes vacation plans without including you. It’s a whole power struggle when you try to convince her to consider your holiday ideas.

She picks TV shows and movies

In women-led relationships, the female partner is the decision maker. But not only does she decide on big picture stuff, but she’s also in charge of picking TV shows and movies you’re going to watch together. If she’s a romantic comedy fanatic, you always watch those types of movies. She doesn’t care what you want to watch and will dismiss your ideas right from the start.

Her family is more important

If you always spend time with her family and ditch yours, it’s probably because she’s the dominant personality in your relationship. In your non-traditional relationship, her family is considered to be more important, so you spend more time with them. Whenever you want to visit your family, she finds excuses for not going. 

She is sexually dominant

In women-led relationships, the female leads sexually. She always initiates sex first and is the dominant one. When you try to take control, she’s not up for it. Everything revolves around her, and your needs are almost always neglected.

She has the final say in everything

Whenever you get into an argument, you always feel like it’s her way or the highway. She always has the final say in everything. She is stubborn and doesn’t want to change it. It’s very difficult to talk to her because she is not ready to hear you out. She finds it difficult to say sorry or admits she was wrong.

She makes more money while the man stays at home

In female-led relationships, it’s usually the man who stays at home while the woman goes to work. Of course, every relationship is different, and not everyone is at the same level. Some romantic relationships are more balanced, so both partners are financially stable. But when it comes to extreme female-led relationships, it’s the woman who’s the breadwinner while the man is in charge of the kids.

She dictates his social media activity

Some women don’t like their partners to post on social media or follow whoever they want online. This is usually the case in female-led relationships. If you’re in a relationship with a dominant female, she probably won’t let you do what you want online. Instead, she will be in control of your social media activity, and you won’t be able to have your privacy.

He always apologizes to her

Saying sorry is very important in a healthy relationship. Unfortunately, some people can’t apologize and always end up blaming their partner for their own mistakes. In some extreme cases of female-led relationships, the woman won’t ever apologize to her partner even when she is clearly in the wrong. 

She doesn’t make any compromise

Compromise is key to a healthy relationship, so if you’re with a woman who’s not ready to meet you halfway, things can get tricky. This is the case with the extreme type of female-led relationships. The woman is the authoritative figure, so she is not ready to make compromises with her man. Most women are not that irrational, though, and are ready to compromise even when they’re the dominant ones in their relationships.

Female Led Relationship Guidelines: How to Make It Work?

The female-led relationship might not be everyone’s piece of cake, but they can definitely work. If you’re in this type of relationship, don’t let anyone’s expectations stop you from living your dream life. If you’re happy, then nothing else matters. If you need any help to make your relationship work, here are some essential guidelines. 

Be honest

Honesty is truly the best policy, and that’s particularly true in romantic relationships. If you want to be in a healthy relationship, you need to be open and honest. Lies won’t get you anywhere, so always try to be honest. 

If you’re not happy with your relationship dynamic, don’t just ignore your feelings. Female-led relationships are not toxic by definition; they’re just different from the traditional male-led relationship. If the dynamic works for you, that’s great! But if not, you need to talk about it honestly with your partner.


How To Make Female-Led Relationship Work
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Another important guideline in every relationship is communication. You need to communicate your desires and fears. If you’re hurt, you have to let your partner know. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe your female partner wants to meet you halfway but is not aware that she’s too controlling sometimes. It’s all about open communication and honesty.

Ignore what everyone else thinks

Just because your relationship is not traditional, that doesn’t mean it’s not right. Female-led relationships are more common than ever, and it’s nobody’s business if you’re with a dominant woman. Don’t listen to other people’s opinions of you. It won’t get you far in life. 

So the next time someone crosses the line and tells you your partner is too bossy, politely tell them to mind their own business. Instead of dealing with other people, focus on your relationship and your happiness.

Understand your roles

Happiness in a relationship requires that both partners are comfortable with their dynamic. You need to make sure that both you and your partner understand each other’s roles. Also, you need to feel comfortable with each other. If you don’t understand and accept each other’s roles, then your relationship will encounter some problems along the way. That’s why you should talk about it as early as possible in the relationship so that there are no misunderstandings later on.

Find a comfortable balance

Finding a balance is always a good idea. Female-led relationships can be a good thing because they empower women and give them their power back. This type of relationship doesn’t have to be extreme. Both partners can have a say. In this modern-day age, most couples choose this comfortable balance for themselves.

Talk about your expectations

The sooner you talk about expectations, the better. If you still haven’t had the chance to discuss expectations, I suggest you do it now, especially if you’re in a non-traditional relationship. When everyone is on board with the setup, the relationship can flourish and move forward. But if you don’t know what the other partner wants, it’s very hard to make the relationship work.

Don’t forget about the love

Signs You're In Female-Led Relationship
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People often think too much about their gender roles in the relationship that they forget to love each other. You shouldn’t forget about the love. It should always come first. If you catch yourself falling into this trap, try to pause and reflect on the situation. Maybe go on a trip together to focus on each other and rediscover that love spark in your relationship.

Are you happy?

The most important question in every relationship is – are you happy? Are you genuinely happy with your partner? Are you happy with how they’re treating you? Don’t forget to ask yourself this question from time to time. 

Abuse is unacceptable

The non-traditional relationship dynamic is one thing, but abuse is another story. Abuse is never acceptable, so if you feel like your partner is gaslighting you or she’s too controlling, don’t ignore it. Abuse is not love; it’s toxic behavior.

Walk away if you’re unhappy

At the end of the day, we all want to be with someone who makes us happy. So if you’re not with that person, it’s perfectly fine to walk away and find your happiness elsewhere.

Whether you’re in a female-led or male-led relationship, it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that you’re happy and satisfied. So, if that’s not the case, you have every right to leave your partner.

Female Led Relationship Questionnaire

If you’re not sure whether a female-led relationship is right for you, this questionnaire might help you. It contains a series of short questions that will help you understand female-led relationships better but also determine whether this setup is good for you.

Final Thoughts

Thanks for taking the time to read my article. I hope you found this article helpful and that it helped you understand what a female-led relationship is, what are the most common signs, and how to make it work.

Remember that every relationship is different. And even though female-led relationships are not everyone’s cup of tea, it doesn’t mean you should stay away from them. 

Do what makes you happy; if you want to be with a strong and authoritative woman, you should do it. As long as you’re both happy, then nothing else matters.

A female-led relationship is the same thing as a male-led relationship; the only thing that’s different is that the gender roles are reversed here. Some people choose to find a comfortable balance and share responsibilities. On the other hand, some people prefer to be the dominant partner who always has the final say or to be the submissive partner.

At the end of the day, we all choose what works for us, so if you found someone who makes you happy, good for you!  A happy relationship is a healthy relationship, so always have that in mind. 

If you have any additional questions about this topic, I’m here to help! Don’t hesitate to reach out or leave a comment in the section below. Let me know your thoughts, and I hope I hear from you soon!

About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.