21 Tips on How to Cope with Feeling Not Good Enough for Him (2024)

Do you feel like he’s out of your league? Or that he can do better than you?

You’re not alone.

A lot of women feel this way when they are in a relationship. It can be tough to deal with these feelings, but it’s essential to do what you can to cope with them.

This article will discuss 21 tips for dealing with feeling not good enough for him. Hopefully, these tips will help you feel better about yourself and improve your relationship!

Here’s what you’ll learn:

Let’s get right into it.

Why You Feel Like You’re Not Good Enough For Him

You’re Projecting Your Insecurities

One of the main reasons you might feel like you’re not good enough for him is that you’re projecting your insecurities and low self-esteem onto the relationship. If you don’t feel good about yourself, it’s easy to assume that he doesn’t either.

You’re Comparing Yourself to Others

Another reason why you might feel like you’re not good enough for him is because you’re comparing yourself to others.

It’s easy to look at other couples and think that they have it all figured out while you’re struggling. But everyone has their own personal problems and insecurities. The grass is not always greener on the other side.

You’re Only Focusing on Your Flaws

When you feel like you’re not good enough for him, you might be focusing too much on your flaws.

We all have things that we don’t like about ourselves. But it’s important to remember that no one is perfect. And even though you might see your flaws as dealbreakers, he probably doesn’t.

You’re Scared of Rejection

Another reason why you might feel like you’re not good enough for him is because you’re scared of rejection.

It’s easy to think that he would reject you if he knew the real you. But the truth is that he loves you for who you are. And even if he doesn’t love everything about you, he accepts you.

You’ve Been Let Down By Love in the Past

If you’ve been let down by love in the past, it can be hard to believe that he loves you.

It’s easy to think that you’re not good enough for him because someone hurt you. But it’s important to remember that not all men are the same. Just because one man treated you badly doesn’t mean that all men will.

You Have a Manipulative Partner

If you have a manipulative partner, it can be hard to feel like you’re good enough for him. A manipulative partner will make you feel like you’re not good enough for him to control you. If this is the case, it’s essential to get out of the relationship.

There’s No Emotional Support in the Relationship

If you don’t feel like there’s any emotional support in the relationship, it can be hard to feel good about yourself.

A healthy relationship is built on trust, respect, and communication. If you don’t feel like you have these things, it can be difficult to feel good about yourself or the relationship.

Your Partner Is Threatening to Leave You

If your partner threatens to leave you, it can make you feel like you’re not good enough for him.

Threatening to leave is a form of emotional manipulation. It’s a way to control you by making you feel like you’re not good enough. If your partner is doing this, it’s essential to get out of the relationship.

How to cope with feeling not good enough for him

What Do You Do When You Don’t Feel Good Enough For Him?

#1. Investigate Why You’re Feeling That Way

There are a few different reasons why you might feel like you’re not good enough for your partner. It could be because you’re insecure, you compare yourself to others, or have been let down by love in the past

This is why one of the first things you can do to cope with the feeling of not being good enough for him is to find out the root of the problem.

What causes you to be insecure?

Figuring this out will help you to start working on this next tip.

#2. Work on Areas of Your Life you Find Wanting

Once you find out what’s causing your insecurities, the next step should be to refurbish any area of your life that you’re unhappy with.

If the cause of your low self-worth is a change in your physical appearance, start going to the gym to improve your physical appearance.

If it’s low self-esteem, begin to work on it by practicing self-love and positive affirmations.

Remember, the goal is not to be perfect. It’s to make consistent improvements in your life. The more effort you put into bettering yourself, the more self-confidence you’ll have.

#3. Talk to A Friend or Family Member

If you feel like you’re not good enough for him, talking to someone about it is essential.

Your friends and family will be able to offer you support and perspective. They’ll be able to remind you of all the things that make you special and unique.

And that’s not all!

Being around people who love and care for you also helps increase your self-worth since you see how valuable you are to others. 

If you don’t have anyone you feel comfortable talking to about this, you can also seek support groups in your area or online. Talking to others who are going through the same thing can be helpful. It can help you to feel less alone and more understood.

what to do when you're feeling not good enough for him
Photo by RODNAE Productions from Pexels

#4. Think About Your Good Qualities and How They Make You Enough

What are your strong suits?

  • Are you a good cook?
  • Do you have a knack for dressing well?
  • Are you always focused when working on your goals?

Everybody has different qualities that make them special and unique. These are the things that make you, you!

And when you feel like you’re not good enough for him, it’s important to remember all of the things that make you great.

Think about all your positive qualities and how they add up to making you an amazing person. This will help remind you that you are good enough for him (or anyone else for that matter!)

#5. Love Yourself First

One of the most important things you can do to cope with feeling like you’re not good enough for him is to love yourself first.

If you don’t love and respect yourself, it will be difficult for you to believe that anyone else could ever love or respect you.

That’s why it’s so important to work on self-love and acceptance.

Here are a few things you can do to start loving yourself more:

  • Compliment yourself every day
  • Treat yourself with kindness and respect
  • Forgive yourself for your mistakes
  • Start doing things that make you happy

Loving yourself is a journey. It takes time, effort, and practice. But it’s so worth it!

When you love yourself, you’ll start to see how worthy you are of love and respect. You’ll also find it easier to feel confident and secure in yourself.

And that’s when feeling like you’re not good enough for him will become a thing of the past.

Related: Ways How To Be ‘Good Enough’

#6. Stop Putting Him on a Pedestal

When you start to see someone as being “perfect,” it’s easy to start feeling like you’re not good enough for them.

That’s why it’s important to stop putting him on a pedestal.

Remember that he is just a person, just like you. He has his flaws and own insecurities. Just because he seems perfect to you doesn’t mean that he is.

Try to look at him objectively and see him for who he is. This will help take the pressure off yourself and make it easier for you to see that you’re good enough for him.

#7. Watch Your Self Talk

One of the things that can make feeling like you’re not good enough for him even worse is negative self-talk.

When you’re constantly putting yourself down and telling yourself that you’re not good enough, it will only make you feel worse.

That’s why it’s so important to be mindful of your self-talk. Whenever you catch yourself thinking or saying something negative about yourself, try to counter it with a positive thought or statement.

This will help retrain your brain and change how you think about yourself. Over time, it will become easier and more natural to think positively about yourself.

And when you think positively about yourself, you’ll start to believe that you are good enough for him.

How to deal with feeling not good enough for him
Image by John Hain from Pixabay

#8. Focus on the Things That Make You Happy

It’s easy to get caught up in feeling like you’re not good enough for him. But it’s so important to focus on the things that make you happy.

When you focus on what makes you happy, it will help take your mind off feeling not good enough.

It will also help you see all the great things you have going for you.

So, make a list of all the things that make you happy and try to do at least one of those things every day. This will help to boost your mood and remind you of all the great things about yourself.

Some examples of things that might make you happy are:

  • Spending time with your friends and family
  • Doing something creative
  • Being in nature
  • Exercising
  • Listening to music
  • Watching your favorite TV show

Remember, the goal is to focus on the things that make you happy. So, don’t beat yourself up if you have a bad day and can’t seem to find anything that makes you happy. Just start fresh the next day and try again.

You’ll get there!

#9. Recall Your Past Achievements

Another way to cope with feeling not good enough for him is to recall your past achievements.

Think about all the things you’ve accomplished in your  life. Think about all the times you’ve overcome adversity.

And remind yourself that if you can do those things, you can do anything.

You are capable of great things. And you are good enough for him.

Related: Easy Ways Out Of “I Can’t Do Anything Right” Thinking

#10. Rather Than Worrying, Switch to Gratitude

It’s so easy to worry about feeling like you’re not good enough for him. But worrying is only going to make you feel worse.

Instead of worrying, try to switch your focus to gratitude. When you’re feeling grateful, it’s impossible to worry.

So, take a few minutes each day to think about all the things you’re grateful for.

You might be surprised at how much better you feel when you focus on gratitude rather than worry.

Gratitude is a powerful emotion that can help to change your entire outlook on life. So, if you’re feeling not good enough for him, try focusing on gratitude instead. It just might make all the difference.

#11. Find a Hobby and Start Practicing It

Part of the reason you may feel unworthy is because your whole life revolves around your relationship.

Your man is everything to you.

However, it’s essential to remember that “your one” cannot be your only one. You need to find other things in your life that make you happy.

A hobby is a great way to do this. It gives you something to focus on that has nothing to do with your relationship.

It also allows you to explore new things and meet new people.

So, if you feel like you’re not good enough for him, find a hobby and start practicing it. It just might be the thing that helps you feel better about yourself.

#12. Understand That Everyone Brings Value

One of the reasons you may feel like you’re not good enough for him is because you don’t feel like you have anything to offer.

You think that he’s better than you in every way possible.

However, it’s important to understand that everyone brings value to the table. Everyone has something special to offer.

So, rather than feeling like you’re not good enough for him, focus on how you’re valuable.

What are some things that you have to offer? How can you make his life better? When you start thinking about it, I’m sure you’ll be able to come up with a long list of things.

Remember, everyone has value. You are no exception.

#13. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

One of the reasons you feel like you’re not good enough for him is because you constantly compare yourself to others.

Maybe you feel like you’re not as beautiful or as intelligent as his ex. Or maybe, you feel like you’re not as successful as some of your friends.

Whatever the case, comparing yourself to others will only make you feel worse.

It’s important to remember that everyone is different. And just because someone may be better than you in one area, doesn’t mean that they’re better than you in all areas.

So, rather than comparing yourself to others, focus on the things that make you unique.

Dealing with feelings of not being good enough for him
Image by Markus Kammermann from Pixabay

#14. Embrace Your Imperfections

Another reason why you may be feeling like you’re not good enough for him is because you think that you must be perfect.

You think that he wants a woman who is perfect in every way.

However, the truth is that no one is perfect. We all have our imperfections. And it’s those imperfections that make us who we are.

So, rather than feeling like you’re not good enough for him because of your imperfections, embrace them.

Related: Ways To STOP Feeling Ugly Once And For All!

#15. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the act of being present in the moment. It’s about being aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment.

And it’s a powerful tool that can help you cope with feeling not good enough.

When you’re feeling not good enough, your mind is likely racing with self-doubt and negative thoughts. You’re probably thinking things like, “I’m not good enough for him,” or “He’s going to leave me.”

However, when you’re mindful, you can recognize these thoughts as just that- thoughts.

You don’t believe them to be true. You understand that they’re just your mind trying to protect you.

And as a result, you’re able to let them go.

So, if you want to cope with feeling not good enough for him, practice mindfulness. It just might be the key to helping you feel better about yourself.

#16. Always Do Your Best

One of the best ways to cope with feeling as if you’re not good enough for him is to always do your best.

No matter what you’re doing, whether it’s at work, school, or in your relationship, always give it your all.

Don’t half-ass things just because you don’t think you’re good enough.

Do your best and let the chips fall where they may. I can guarantee you that he’ll be impressed by your dedication and determination.

And even if things don’t turn out the way you wanted them to, at least you can say that you did everything you could.

So, always do your best. It’s a surefire way to help you feel better about yourself.

#17. Talk to Him About Your Feelings

If you feel like you’re not good enough for him, it’s essential to talk to him about your feelings.

Chances are, he has no idea how you’re feeling. So, it’s important to communicate with him and let him know what’s going on.

This can be a difficult conversation to have. But it’s so important to be open and honest with him about how you’re feeling. Who knows, he might even feel the same way! If he does, you can work together to figure out how to deal with those feelings.

But even if he doesn’t feel the same way, it’s still important to talk to him about how you’re feeling. He might not understand why you’re feeling that way. But if you explain it to him, he might be more understanding and supportive than you think.

The bottom line is that communication is critical in any relationship. So, if you feel like you’re not good enough for him, talk to him about it. He might be the one person who can help you feel better about yourself.

feeling not good enough for him
Photo by Mikhail Nilov from Pexels

#18. Take a Break from Him

If you find that you constantly feel like you’re not good enough for him, it may be best to take a break from the relationship.

I’m not saying that you should break up with him. But it may be helpful to take some time apart.

This will give you time to work on yourself. It will provide you with time to focus on your happiness. And it will also give you time to figure out if he’s the right guy for you.

If he’s a narcissist, a break could be what you need to think straight.

#19. Set Boundaries

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, setting boundaries is essential.

Narcissists often take advantage of people. They often use them and abuse them. And if you don’t set boundaries, they will do the same to you.

So, it’s important to know your worth and set boundaries accordingly.

He’ll make you feel like you’re not good enough for him if you don’t. And that’s not a feeling that you want to have.

So, set boundaries and stick to them. It’s the best way to protect yourself from feeling like you’re not good enough for him.

#20. Remember That the People You Compare Yourself to Also Compare Themselves to Others

We all do it. It’s human nature.

It’s important to remember that everyone has insecurities. Everyone has things they don’t like about themselves.

So, when you feel like you’re not good enough, remind yourself that the people you’re comparing yourself to also have their insecurities.

They’re not perfect. And neither are you.

And that doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough for him. It just means that you’re human.

#21. Seek Professional Help

If you’ve been feeling like you’re not good enough for him and nothing seems to be helping, it may be time to talk to a professional.

A therapist or counselor can help you understand why you feel like you’re not good enough. They can help you understand why you think this way and give you the tools to cope with it.

If it’s self-esteem issues, working with professionals can help you come up with strategies to boost your self-esteem. 

Talking to a professional may be exactly what you need if you’re feeling lost.

What to do when you feel like you're not good enough for him
Photo by Polina Tankilevitch from Pexels

Related: How To Be Enough For Someone: Effective Tips

FAQs On How to Cope with Feeling Not Good Enough for Him

Signs He Thinks You’re Not Good Enough for Him

Some of the signs that a man thinks you’re not good enough for him include:

  • He’s always hanging out with his friends and not you
  • He doesn’t introduce you to his friends or family
  • He’s always talking about other women and comparing you to them
  • He’s always making plans without you
  • He flirts with other women in front of you
  • He outright tells you that you’re not good enough for him.

How Do You Stop Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough?

Here are some things that you can do to stop feeling like you’re not good enough:

  • Work on your self esteem
  • Talk to a professional
  • Recall your past achievements.
  • Accept that you’re not perfect, and that’s okay
  • Focus on your happiness
  • Stop comparing yourself to others.
  • Remember that everyone has insecurities.

Any Further Questions?

There you have it!

Twenty-one tips on how to cope with feeling like you’re not good enough for him. I hope that these tips will help you see yourself in a better light and remind you of how amazing you are.

Do you have any further questions? Please feel free to leave them in the comments section below. I’ll be happy to answer them.

And if you found this article helpful, please share it with your friends. We all need a little reminder of how great we are from time to time.

About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.

Bijan