21 Typical Examples Of Narcissist Text Messages & How To Respond (2024)

Are you struggling to identify a narcissist in your life? This list of examples of narcissist text messages will help you.

In my role as a life coach, I am often helping clients develop better communication and understanding with those closest to them.

That’s why I’m keen to share this guide with you.

So, let’s dive in.

What Are Some Text Habits Of A Narcissist?

Narcissist texting habits aren’t as easy to spot as their real-life habits. After all, you can only decipher words on a screen, which the narcissist has as much time as they want to cultivate. 

A narcissist may use this time to choose their words carefully and appear more like a normal person who has your best interests at heart, rather than the self-centered person we know they tend to be.

With that said, there are narcissist texting habits to look out for, so let’s explore these now… 

Narcissist Text Games

A narcissist’s text messaging mind games consist of trying to get what they want, while convincing you that they have your best interests at heart. Look out for this at all times.  

Manipulative Text Messages

Manipulative text messages are the heart of a narcissist’s texting strategy. They’re always trying to establish control over your behavior. 

Demanding Attention

Attention is a narcissist’s fuel. If you don’t reply to a narcissist’s text message, you can expect more messages to arrive soon enough.

‘Clickbait’ Texts

Clickbait is a strategy that digital marketers use to make you click on their links. A narcissist will use the same strategies to get a quick response to their text message.

Vaguely Dramatic Texts

A classic clickbait tactic; narcissists will make something appear to be a huge crisis even when it isn’t. 

Related: How To Respond To A Narcissist Text

Love Bombing Texts

This is the process of overwhelming someone with undying love to make them like you. A narcissist will do this to establish control of you later on.

Devaluing Texts

Shortly after the love bombing stage, a narcissist will try to ruin your self-esteem or make you feel guilty to get what they want from you. 

Fight Trigger Texts

A narcissist text message might be designed to make you angry, so you reply quickly. Angry texts and negative attention from you still count as attention and fuel their narcissistic supply.

Fake Caring Texts

If you call out their behavior, a narcissist will send seemingly empathic and thoughtful messages to get you back onside. In these fake caring messages, you can expect plenty of vague promises and half-ass apologies. 

Related: Reactions To Expect When A Narcissist Knows You Have Figured Him Out

Gaslighting Texts

Alternatively, they will try to gaslight you to make you think you were imagining things. If a narcissist senses it’s possible, they will try to make you feel crazy for accusing them of anything. 

Word Salad Texts

Word salad texts are essentially a huge text message with plenty of conflicting emotions, usually sent when a simple response will do. You can expect half-apologies and compliments mixed with reasons why the narcissist was right all along.

Late Night Texts  

This is less of a strategy, more of a sign of a narcissist’s entitlement. Most narcissists will believe you should reply to their messages at any hour, and might even get angry if you don’t respond until the next morning.

Related: How Do Narcissists Feel When You Move On? 21 Key Insights

Demanding Texts

Another sign of entitlement; a narcissist will demand you do something, rather than ask politely. It’s one of the biggest red flags that defines a narcissist.  

The Silent Treatment 

Narcissists ignore texts they don’t like. Indeed, if you send any texts narcissists can’t argue back to, you can expect them to simply ignore it. 

This most commonly happens when you make a point that undeniably paints them in a bad light. It’s emotionally immature, especially when you consider that most narcissists will make you feel obligated to respond to their texts and phone calls.   

Related Content: Do Narcissists Feel Guilt? 4 Key Insights

Examples Of Narcissist Text Messages

Examples Of Narcissist Text Messages
Image by bristekjegor on freepik.com

Here are some examples of narcissistic text messages you might receive, based on the above examples of their messaging habits. 

  • “I’m trying to have a serious conversation and you ignore me. What’s wrong with you?!” – Demanding Attention
  • “I saw you were online on Facebook. Answer my calls!” – Demanding Attention
  • Honestly, I’m growing sick of our one-sided relationship.” – Demanding Attention
  • “OMG, you’ll never believe what happened to me! We have to talk right now!!” – Clickbait Text
  • Your head will explore when you hear what happened on my date!!!” – Clickbait Text
  • The worst thing happened to me tonight! Ahhhh I want to die!” – Vaguely Dramatic Text
  • I ruined everything! My dad hates me! My mom hates me! My friends think I’m stupid!”Vaguely Dramatic Text 
  • “You’re my best friend and the coolest person in the whole world. I can’t trust anyone as much as you.”Love Bombing Text
  • You’re so kind and we have such a good connection. I know I can always rely on you to be there for me.” – Love Bombing Text
  • “You’re not as special as you think you are. You should appreciate the friends who are actually there for you.” – Devaluing Text
  • You think your relationship is so perfect, but I’m sure he cheats on you. Don’t ditch your friends who were always there.” – Devaluing Text
  • “I hope you’re OK. I’m worried because I haven’t heard from you in a while.” – Fake Caring Text
  • “I’m no mind reader, but I can tell something is wrong with you. We should talk.” – Fake Caring Text
  • You’re such a forgetful so and so 🙂 I never said anything like that.”Gaslighting Text 
  • “If that’s what you think, you need professional help. Maybe see a psychiatrist?” Gaslighting Text
  • “I have a gut feeling that you’re lying to me. I hate liars.” – Fight Trigger Text
  • “Do you have a problem with me? Why don’t you just say it!” – Fight Trigger Text
  • Are you awake? I can’t sleep.”Late Night Text
  • I’m at the club. Can you come pick me up???” – Late Night Text
  • Cancel your plans and come see me! I need you.” Demanding Text
  • Your dress clashes with mine! You need to change it!”Demanding Text

What Does Covert Narcissist Say?

A covert narcissist may adopt these narcissistic texting habits in a more subtle way, 

Related: What Makes A Narcissist Panic? – Proven Strategies

How To Respond To A Narcissist Text

If you’re upset by the way a narcissist texts you, the best thing to do is not respond.

There’s no point trying to explain why a narcissist shouldn’t be talking to you in a certain way. By definition, they have no empathy about this sort of thing.

If you’re forced to try and keep a friendly relationship with this person, perhaps because you have narcissistic family members or a child with a narcissist ex-husband, try talking face-to-face. You may find it easier to get through to them when talking to them in-person instead of texting.   

The biggest mistake you can make when texting a narcissist is to lose your temper and launch into an angry word salad of your own. This fuels their narcissistic supply and will encourage them to send more messages that trigger this reaction.  

So, if you do reply, stay calm and don’t let your emotions take over. 

The following guide will give you more advanced tips to steer the conversation where you need it to go: EXPERT Tips – How To Talk To A Narcissist

How Do You Get A Narcissist To Text You Back?

Take away your attention. Indulge in radio silence.

When a narcissist feels they’re losing your attention, they’ll come straight back to texting or calling you. 

Related: Are Narcissists Born Or Made? 13 Science Insights

What Happens When You Don’t Answer A Narcissist Text?

When a narcissist feels they’re losing your attention, they’ll often become angry or offended. They feel entitled to it, after all.

You can expect their efforts to regain your attention to become stronger. Their attempts at narcissistic abuse will become more intense. Their words will become more piercing. They’ll be playing games in the hope to garner a response even more.  

Don’t feel bad about not responding, if you don’t need to. Your mental health and emotional well-being will become far stronger by not texting the narcissist in your life at all.  

Related Content: Best Ways To Emotionally Detach From A Narcissist

Any Questions? 

Thanks for reading my guide about narcissistic texting. I hope these examples of narcissist text messages will help you realize when you’re communicating with a narcissistic person.

For more guidance, see my full guide on How To Respond To A Narcissist Text

If you have any questions on this topic, feel free to leave a comment below. 

It would be great to hear from you. 

About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.