23 Reasons: Dreaming About An Ex You Don’t Talk To Anymore (2024)

Are you dreaming about an ex you don’t talk to anymore? Are you wondering why?

Dreaming About An Ex You Don’t Talk To Anymore
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If so, keep reading because this guide will reveal 23 potential reasons why this is happening.

In my role as a life coach, I am often helping clients better understand themselves and those closest to them. 

That’s why I’m keen to share this guide with you. 

So, let’s dive in.   

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What Does It Mean When You Dream About Your Ex That You Don’t Miss?

While some people might pass it off as a coincidence, it’s generally accepted that if people dream regularly about the same person, it’s because this person is in their subconscious mind for some reason.

Below, you’ll find 23 potential reasons why you’re dreaming about an ex you don’t miss to help you understand what this person represents about your unconscious psyche.  

1. You’re Still Have Lingering Feelings For Them

It might annoy you that this idea popped up first on the list. In many ways, it’s the lazy answer that a friend or family member who doesn’t know you well might give. Maybe you’re happy in your current relationship and never think about your ex in your waking life.

But open your mind and take a moment to consider whether you may have repressed feelings towards this former flame. This would often lead to dreams featuring them.

I’m not saying this is definitely the reason, but it’s a possibility worth at least considering.

2. They Hurt You And You’re Scared Of Being Hurt Again

When something scares or hurts you enough, it can leave a lasting impact on your subconscious mind. This is typically referred to as trauma.

Trauma can remain with you until it’s processed. Bad dreams are a common side-effect of unprocessed trauma. 

3. You Have Unfinished Business And Need Closure 

If there are unresolved issues in your relationship, it’s common that your ex will continue to play on your mind and this can make you dream about them. 

4. You’re Craving Intimacy Or Connection

When you dream about your ex, this can be a subconcsious sign that you’re craving intimacy from someone, even if that’s not the person that appeared in the dream.  

5. You Were Recently Reminded Of Them In Waking Life

Dreams can occur from random triggers that remind you of a certain person. Sometimes, there’s nothing more to it than that.

6. Your Current Relationship Is Struggling

If you’re going through a tough patch with your current partner, a dream about an ex can be an unconscious side-effect of the negative feelings surrounding your relationship. 

7. You Have Similar Relationship Concerns

Could the break-up with this ex have been caused by a reason you’re subconsciously worried about happening again? Maybe this dream is a warning sign to not make the same mistakes in your current relationship or future relationships.  

8. You’re Stressed In General

Uncomfortable dreams are a common side-effect of stress in your day-to-day life. However, if you continue having the same dream about the same ex, there could be something more specific going on in your mind.

9. They Were Your First Love

Your first loving relationship – and more specifically your first heartbreak – can make a lasting impact on your psyche. Even if the break-up wasn’t tragic and you don’t feel sad about it in your waking life, it can still cause the side-effects of trauma in your dreams. 

10. You’re Craving Something Only They Can Give You 

Perhaps it’s not this person you’re missing, but instead it’s something only they have given you before. Did they treat you a certain way or do something special that no-one else will do for you?

Related: Does My Ex Miss Me? 21 Clear Signs

11. They Symbolize The Way You Feel About Love

Maybe there’s a more metaphorical reason why you dream about this person at this stage in your life. Could they symbolize the way you feel about love on a wider level? Perhaps you miss something they represent to you symbolically. 

12. You’re Craving Novelty In Your Life

Could a dream about a past relationship simply represent a desire for something new and exciting in your life? That’s not to say you’re craving a new relationship. Remember, dreams can be deeply metaphorical sometimes.

13. You’re Feeling Nostalgic

Perhaps you dream of your ex because they represented a key part of a time in your life that you’re feeling nostalgic for. 

14. You Feel Guilty For Your Break-Up

Guilt is a common emotion that people will try to repress – and this emotion can often haunt them in their dreams. Is your relationship with this person still tinged in guilt? Do you feel deep regret for how the relationship ended? You could be dreaming about your old relationship because you’re feeling insecure about what happened. 

15. You’re Curious About What Might Have Been

Curiosity is another emotion that people like to repress. For example, if you’re in a committed relationship, you may repress thoughts of all your love possibilities that you turned down. Maybe you’re still curious about how your relationship could have turned out with your ex if you had taken different steps.   

16. You’re Afraid Of Getting Into Another Relationship

A dream about a distant ex might represent your fear of new relationships in general? Did this guy do something to put you off falling in love? Do you still hold onto these lingering fears on some level? This dream might be a result of that.

17. Your Mind Is Trying To Tell You Something Else

As mentioned earlier, dreams often result from repressed emotions. I’ve mentioned a few repressed emotions that are commonly represented in dreams of an ex, but what emotions are you hiding? This is definitely something to consider when trying to understand what any dream means.

18. Get Help From A Dream Analysis Expert

There are many professionals who specialise in helping people understand their subconscious thoughts and love reading dreams. Try seeking tailor-made advice from a gifted advisor or a real psychic. This could be a turning point in the understanding of your dreams.  

19. Get Help From A Certified Relationship Coach

You might not think a relationship coach would be qualified to help interpret your dreams. However, there are highly-trained relationship coaches out there with a background of life coach training. These professionals are absolutely qualified to help you dive deeper into your unconscious mind and give specific advice about why you might be dreaming about your ex.

20. Keep A Dream Journal

Most dreams go unremembered. If you keep a journal by your bed, you’ll be able to write down what you remember when you wake up in the middle of the night. This will give you more data about your dreams to look back on and make it easier to find a pattern.

21. You Finally Understand Better Why You Broke Up

Sometimes we’re not mature enough or ready to understand some situations in our life. Breakups are no exception. Your breakup might have hurt you tremendously back then, but it was maybe because you didn’t understand it.

Now, you finally see the whole picture, and your brain is subconsciously helping you get closure and the peace of mind of knowing you’re better off without your ex.

22. Your Ex Might Come Into Your Life Soon Again

Another potential reason why you’re dreaming about your ex is that they might come back into your life soon again. They maybe want to make things better, ask you for an apology, or try to win you back. It’s up to you to decide, but dreaming about them might be a signal they’re close.

23. Someone Reminded You Of Them

Maybe you saw a movie where an actor looked like your ex. Maybe you ran into someone on the street who had the same eyes as your ex. Those could also be the reason you’re now dreaming of them all of a sudden.

How To Deal With Dreaming About An Ex You Don’t Talk To Anymore

Hopefully, you’re a bit more clued up about what’s making you dream about an ex-partner, but this knowledge in itself might not be enough to stop them appearing in your dreams. So, let’s explore some exercises you can complete in real life to help you stop dreaming about your ex.

Clear All Unresolved Feelings About Your Past Relationship

If you think unresolved issues are making you dream about an ex, you need to clear these as soon as possible.

It’s not always possible nor advisable to call your ex. This might stir up drama that keeps them in your thoughts and dreams even longer. That’s your decision.

One effective method of clearing residual feelings is to journal about your feelings towards an ex for just a few minutes whenever they pop up. This helps get your feelings out in the open, instead of being bottled in your subconscious mind. A dramatic alternative is to write a letter to your ex explaining all the emotions attached to them, then burn it. 

Maybe, if you haven’t already done this, you need to rant and get upset about how much they hurt you. If you haven’t let these feelings out, it’s common that they remain bottled up inside your mind until you do. 

Move On With Your Own Life

When you’re moving forward with your career, your love life and social life, this can do a lot to wash away existing thoughts about a past relationship, because your mind is too busy buzzing with exciting new thoughts about the future.

Clear Your Mind Before Sleep 

When you have a better quality of sleep, you’ll typically reduce the amount of dreams you remember. Try staying away from technology in the hour before you plan to fall asleep and instead dedicating this hour to your favorite de-stressing activity. 

Frequently Asked Questions

Let’s round off this guide with the answers to some frequently asked questions around the topic of dreaming about an ex you don’t talk to anymore. 

What Does It Mean When An Ex Appears In Your Dream?

When you dream about an ex, it’s usually because they remain in your subconscious mind for some reason. The most obvious reason would be that you still have feelings for them, although there are lots of other reasons written in the guide above. 

Does Dreaming About Your Ex Mean They Miss You?

Some spiritual experts suggest that a person may appear in your dreams when they’re thinking about you. This is an idea commonly attached to soul mates, although there’s little in the way of solid evidence to back this up.

Related Content: Why Do Exes Come Back When You Moved On

Why Do I Keep Dreaming About My Ex Even Though I’m Over Her?

It could be that you’re repressing strong feelings about her or just feeling lonely in general, but there are many other reasons why you could be dreaming about your ex. See our full list of reasons towards the top of this guide.  

Spiritual Meaning Of Dreaming About You

If you want to dive deeper into potential spiritual reasons behind your dreams of an ex, see my guide titled: Possible Spiritual Meanings Of Dreaming About Your Ex

Any Questions?

Thanks for reading my guide on dreaming about an ex you don’t talk to anymore. I hope you found it genuinely helpful and you understand a bit more about the potential reasons this person keeps appearing in your dreams.

If you’d like to ask a question or share some final thoughts on this topic, you can leave me a comment below. I’ll do my best to give some unique insight that can help you. 

Feel free to share your own personal experience with dreaming about a past relationship too. It would be great to hear from you.

About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.