Let’s be honest — getting divorced sucks, and the stress it causes can be overwhelming.
That’s why many people are now turning to a divorce coach to help them successfully navigate their divorce.
But what does a divorce coach do, and should you hire one?
Read on to find out.
1. What Is a Divorce Coach?
Much like a life coach, a divorce coach is a guide who accompanies you through the divorce process.
A divorce coach will help you manage your emotions. He or she is a great person to vent to about what a jerk your ex is, and will charge you less per hour than an attorney, who is only interested in the legal aspects anyway.
A professional divorce coach will support you throughout the process and provide guidance on financial and other practical issues such as co-parenting and moving on from the emotional pain caused by divorce.
It’s important to note that a divorce coach is different from a divorce attorney, so their advice should not be taken as legal advice (unless your divorce coach is also a certified divorce attorney).
2. How Does a Divorce Coach Work?
The way each divorce coach works varies depending on their background and specialization. Some are former divorce attorneys who fulfill the role of both coach and attorney for their clients.
A divorce coach’s role is to provide the support you need to make the best possible decisions as you move forward with your divorce and new life.
Sometimes, emotions can cloud our judgment and lead to rash decisions. A divorce coach will help you think and see more clearly, so you can get the best deal from your divorce. They will also help you deal with pressure from family members or from your ex.
Getting divorced requires a lot of paperwork and organization — tasks that can feel overwhelming when you’re going through emotional turmoil. A divorce coach can help you make sure you have everything you need to get it done.
Different divorce coaches have different specializations, including but not limited to:
- Co-parenting and custody issues
- Communication to reduce problems in the negotiations
- Healing from the relationship and moving on with your life
Every divorce is different, so make sure you do your research to find the best divorce coach to suit your needs.
No matter who you decide to work with, it’s important to make sure you choose a certified divorce coach who has received professional training in delivering the services you need.
3. How Does a Divorce Mediator Work?
A divorce mediator is a divorce consultant and neutral third party who can help you agree on the terms of your divorce without involving lawyers.
Mediation can save time, money, and a lot of heartache for people going through the divorce process.
They can be particularly helpful for people who have children and will have to continue to be in contact following the divorce.
Many divorce coaches also work as mediators, so if you think your divorce could benefit from a mediator, look for a certified divorce coach who specializes in mediation.
4. Benefits of Divorce Coaching
Working with a certified divorce coach has many benefits. Here are some of the main ones.
You Will Make Better Decisions
The stress and emotional overload of getting divorced can make it difficult to think clearly and make the right decisions.
A divorce coach can help you cut through the emotions, as well as the often-conflicting advice received from family and friends.
This enables you to make the best decision for yourself, your ex, and your children (if you have them).
Related: How Keeping A Child Away From The Other Parent Can Backfire
You Could Cut Out the Attorney
If you have a difficult relationship with your ex, communication can often be difficult and counterproductive.
In some cases, divorce coaches act as mediators and reduce the need to work with a lawyer.
They can support you in communicating with your ex in a way that will get the best result possible for all parties involved.
This will also save you the emotional stress of conflict with your ex.
They Can Save You Money
Working with a divorce coach can have financial benefits, too.
They usually charge less per hour than an attorney, and they are trained to help you work through emotional issues that a lawyer is not usually interested in.
They Help You Move On with Your Life
Certified divorce coaches are specially trained to guide you through every step of the divorce process — including building your new life once it’s over.
A divorce coach will help you with the transition to adapt to your new circumstances.
This may mean supporting you through co-parenting or finding a new home or job.
They will also help you deal with the difficult emotions surrounding the divorce so that you are able to move on without trauma and build your new life.
5. Divorce Coach Online
So, if you’re convinced divorce coaching can help you, you might be asking yourself “where can I find a divorce coach near me?”
Well, the good news is, you can work with a certified divorce coach anywhere in the world, thanks to the power of the internet.
Like most life coaches, divorce coaches usually offer divorce consulting online, making it easier for you to find and hire the professional who is best suited to your needs.
6. Divorce Coaching Questions
As a life coach, I always encourage my clients to learn self-coaching techniques.
This empowers them to support themselves and equips them to face life’s future challenges.
One of the best ways to do this is through self-inquiry using coaching questions.
Whether you’re working with a divorce coach or not, asking yourself these questions can help you overcome the challenges you experience as you go through your divorce.
When you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or facing a difficult decision, use these questions to help you get unstuck.
- What information do I need to make this decision?
- Whose perspectives do I need to consider?
- What emotions am I feeling right now and how can I handle them in a healthy way?
- What do I need right now?
- How can I take better care of my mental and physical health?
- What can I do to support my children?
- What have I learned from this experience?
- What is the ideal outcome for this situation?
- Who can I lean on for support?
Related: Scientific Signs Your Marriage Will End In Divorce
7. What to Look for in a Divorce Coach
Divorce coaches come with a vast range of training, expertise, and experience, so what to look for depends on your specific needs.
However, it’s essential to look for someone who has received professional divorce coaching training (see point 8), and not just a person who’s been through a divorce.
Many divorce coaches also have backgrounds as divorce lawyers, which can be beneficial as they can eliminate the need for costly legal advice in many cases.
The most important thing is to make sure you find someone who makes you feel comfortable and who understands your perspective. Never hire a coach who judges or shames you!
8. Best Coaching Certifications
Coaching is an unregulated sector, and divorce coaching is no exception.
However, there are some reputable coaching certifications out there.
The most widely recognized is the ICF Coaching Certification.
9. Divorce Coach Rates
The average rate for a divorce coach is around $100 to $150 per hour, but rates vary depending on the coach’s experience and expertise.
Even so, divorce attorneys charge their clients considerably more, so hiring a divorce coach can still have financial benefits.
10. Do Relationship Coaches Work?
Relationship coaches work with their clients to help them resolve relationship issues and reconnect on a deeper level.
If you’re not yet sure whether divorce is the right option, or you want to give your marriage one last chance, relationship coaching could be a great alternative to divorce coaching.
11. How Do I Become a Divorce Coach?
If you feel called to share your experience and knowledge with others going through the divorce process, you may want to consider becoming a professional divorce coach.
Many of the best divorce coaches have both personal and professional experience with divorce.
However, the good news is you can become a divorce coach even without a legal background. The best way to do this is to enroll in a reputable training course to become a certified divorce coach.
ICF offers the best online life coaching certification, but if you want to specialize in divorce coaching, you could also try the Certified Divorce Coach certification from the CDC.
Anything I Missed?
I hope you enjoyed this list and it will help you as you move forward with your divorce.
Is there anything you would add?
Perhaps you’ve already worked with a divorce coach, or are thinking of hiring one?
Either way, share your experience in the comments.
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