If you’ve ever read dating and relationship advice for women, you’re probably familiar with the idea of “cut him off & he will miss you”.
The idea is to take away your attention if you’re unhappy with how a man is treating you, so he’ll miss you, fight for your attention and treat you better once he’s won you back.
It might sound extremely harsh, but it’s an effective play to make a man take you seriously.
We’ll explore why in this article.
At the same time, it’s not a foolproof dating strategy. There are a number of downsides to treating a man this way and it could destroy your relationship forever.
In this guide, you’ll find an extensive list of pros and cons to cutting off your romantic interest.
By the time you’ve finished reading, you should have a strong idea of what to do to push your relationship forwards.
In my role as a life coach, I am often helping clients better understand themselves and those around them.
That’s why I was so keen to write this guide for you.
So, let’s dive in.
Cut Him Off & He Will Miss You: Is It True?
The short answer is: not always.
Before we dive into our pros and cons of cutting a guy off, it’s important you understand when this strategy works and when it doesn’t.
So, don’t skip this section.
It could be the deciding factor behind your decision of whether to cut your man off or not…
Will A Guy Miss You If You Cut Him Off?
To make him miss you, he’ll need to have really liked you in the first place.
You’ll need to have made him feel like no other woman in his life makes him feel.
If he barely knows you and hasn’t witnessed what you can bring to his life, it’ll be tough to make him miss you. That’s why it’s important not to cut him off too early.
If there’s some other woman in his life that he likes more than you, it’ll be tough to make him miss you. That’s why it’s important to give him your best when you’re first getting to know each other.
Let’s make it clear: he won’t miss you if he doesn’t ADORE you.
If he doesn’t seem to adore you yet, your best move is probably to try HARDER to get this guy’s attention. My guides on how to be a high value woman and activating a man’s Hero Instinct will help you here.
If this doesn’t get the result you wanted, you can try cutting him off afterwards.
How Do Guys Feel When You Cut Them Off?
Let’s assume this guy really likes you.
When that’s the case, it’ll feel amazing whenever he talks or spends time with you.
Even if he doesn’t show it, the dopamine receptors in his brain will be firing and feel-good endorphins will be buzzing around his body.
In many cases, a man will give you all the attention you need when he feels like this – and there will be no reason to cut him off. Most likely, you’ll transition in a long-term relationship over time.
However, some guys will pull away their attention even when they really like you. This might happen if he has the avoidant attachment style or if he’s trying to be a player and figures he can have his cake and eat it too.
These are the occasions when cutting a man off works really well.
What Silence Does To A Man?
When you suddenly cut him off, you snatch away all those chemicals that made him feel amazing. He’ll feel a drastic and unexpected change in his mood and he’ll realize just how important you are to him.
Often, he’ll start missing you terribly. Maybe he’ll feel lost without you. In such cases, he’ll begin chasing your attention to regain his own sanity. It might not happen overnight, depending on the man’s ego and if he’s the type to fight his emotions, but he should eventually reach out and start treating you like a perfect boyfriend would.
It’s a powerful move to make a man miss you using the no contact rule, but it only works when he really likes you to begin with.
Cut Him Off & He Will Miss You: Pros And Cons
Now you understand when and why it works to cut a man off, let’s explore the pros and cons of doing so.
PROS Of Cutting Him Off
1. You’ll Increase Your Value In His Eyes
As humans, we value what’s difficult to obtain. That’s why playing ‘hard to get’ can work so well. In most cases, he’ll understand that you’re a woman worth fighting for.
2. You Set Boundaries
When you set boundaries early, it becomes easier to enforce them throughout your entire relationship. Moving forward, he’ll remember that he can’t mess you around.
3. You Remind Yourself Of Your True Value
Whenever you enforce your personal boundaries, you remind yourself that you won’t be disrespected. When you set the bar high for how a person should treat you, your self-esteem will skyrocket.
4. You Can Focus On Yourself
By taking time away from this guy, you create time to focus on improving your own life.
5. You Can Focus On The Things That Matter
By stepping away from a romantic interest, you can remind yourself that there are (hopefully) more important things in your life than this person. Your family. Your friends. Your hobbies and passions. Your life mission.
6. You Will Find Out If He Is Serious
Whether or not it works out, you’ll know for sure if he’s serious about you or not.
If this guy doesn’t miss you or fight for your attention, it’s time to cut him off completely and move on with your life.
7. This Is How You Grow
Personal growth happens when you cut off unnecessary or unhelpful parts of your life, and focus on replacing them with healthier things.
You might feel bad to cut this person off, but the fastest growth occurs in your darkest moments.
8. You Can Find Someone Better For You
When you cut someone off, you create space to find someone who treats you properly.
The funny thing is: it’s usually when you find that first person to date after him that he’ll realize your worth and regret having lost you.
It’s crazy how commonly that happens after a break-up.
9. Dopamine Detox
Cutting off a person you were obsessing over will usually encourage you to spend less time on your smartphone and more time in the real world. This provides a ‘dopamine detox’, which is great for your mental health.
10. Cut Him Off If He Doesnt Want A Relationship
If you want a serious relationship and he doesn’t, it’s a no-brainer to cut him off. Often, he’ll miss you and quickly change his feelings about relationships when this happens.
11. Cut Him Off If He Disrespects You
It should be his job to track you down and apologize when he disrespects you. Follow this rule as a matter of respect to yourself.
CONS OF Cutting Him Off
12. Cutting Him Off Too Soon Doesn’t Work
The idea of cutting a man off is to make him realize he really liked you. If you cut him off before he ever liked you, this strategy won’t work.
13. It’s Dishonest
There is a strong argument that it’s dishonest and sneaky to cut someone off when you still like them. It could be argued that it’s healthier to be honest about your feelings at every stage of the relationship, rather than denying them with radio silence.
14. It’s Manipulative
Some guys have no time for romantic drama with a woman who makes irrational decisions. If one of these guys feels that you’re playing mind games by cutting him off, he’ll automatically disqualify you as a candidate for a serious relationship.
15. It Might Impact Your Mutual Friends
Cutting off a man might affect your relationships with your mutual friends, especially if they felt connected with both of you.
16. He Might Decide You Don’t Like Him
Sometimes, a man won’t fight for you because he assumes you don’t want to talk to him. In that case, you might miss out on a great man for no reason.
17. You Might Miss Out On Some Great Sex
Let’s say this guy is sleeping with you, but won’t commit to a relationship. That’s a great time to cut him off, assuming you want him to commit. You will miss out on sex during this period, but hopefully it’s for the greater good.
18. You Might Be Lonely For A While
You might miss this man while he’s cut off, especially if you don’t have another person to do a specific activity with. Remember though, it’s for the greater good.
19. It Can Encourage Your ‘Grass Is Greener’ Syndrome
If you struggle with ‘grass is greener’ syndrome in your love life, you might be too keen to cut off guys too soon. In such cases, you’ll tell yourself it’s the right move to make, when really it’s an excuse to roll the dice and indulge in your ‘grass is greener’ habit once again.
20. It Can Encourage You To Remain Afraid Of Intimacy
A person with the anxious attachment style will find the first excuse to cut someone off, when they should actually be addressing why they’re so afraid to open up and love someone.
21. This Doesn’t Work In A Serious Relationship
Cutting a man off so he’ll miss you doesn’t work when you’re already in a serious relationship, not even as a last resort. In this case, it’s better to talk through your problems.
Cut Him Off & He Will Miss You: Frequently Asked Questions
Let’s round off this guide with the answers to some frequently asked questions about cutting a man off.
How Do You Politely Cut A Guy Off?
It’s important to politely cut this guy off if you want to reignite your relationship later on.
If you cut him off completely with absolute radio silence, he’ll usually think you’re not interested in any form of relationship.
If you’re spiteful or immature in the way you cut him off, there’s every chance he won’t want you in his life anymore.
To politely cut him off, take a little longer than you usually would to respond to his calls or text messages.
When he invites you out, tell him you’d love to but you have other things going on in your life at that time.
These little gestures are subtle, but they’re enough to make him regret losing you, or at least to start wondering what your true feelings are.
In this case, he’ll miss you instead of being annoyed by you. Before long, he’ll find himself trying even harder to win you affection.
In an ideal world, you’ll actually be out living your best life, rather than lying about it. This allows you to save face if he accuses you of playing mind games.
For a more detailed guide on how to politely cut a man off, see my article on How To Pull Away To Make Him Want You
When Should You Cut A Man Off?
When you get the sense a guy really likes you, but he’s not giving you the attention you desire, that’s the perfect time to cut him off.
Signs You Need To Cut Him Off
- He doesn’t prioritise you as much as he used to.
- He keeps promising to meet you, but never follows through (actions speak louder than words).
- He’s active on his messaging apps and social media platforms, but doesn’t respond to your messages.
- He keeps making excuses not to get into a serious relationship with you.
- He’s getting too close with his ex-partner.
- He let you down or committed a serious breach of trust.
- He disrespects you in some other way.
- He’s your ex-boyfriend, but you want him back.
- You’re having an affair and he won’t break up with his partner.
Should I Cut My Husband Off?
The silent treatment is no way to fix a broken marriage. If you have marriage issues, resolve them by talking them through, perhaps with the help of a counsellor or a therapist.
Some married couples have found that a spiritual marriage helper helped them resolve issues with spiritual tips.
Whatever route you go down, make sure to talk things through now. To turn cold and keep your feelings to yourself would be a huge mistake.
The same can be said for long-distance relationships or arguably any form of committed relationship.
Once you’re in an official couple, it’s always better to be honest about your feelings rather than bottling them up.
Thanks for reading my guide on cutting a man off so he’ll miss you. I hoped it helped you realize the pros and cons of this strategy.
If you’re feeling lost and want a question answered on this topic or just a shoulder to cry on, feel free to leave a comment in the box below.
I can’t offer the same support I’d give my life coaching clients, but I’ll try to reply to as many comments as possible.
It’ll be great to hear from you.