Looking for creative ways to initiate lovemaking? You’re in the right place!
In my role as a life coach, I’m often helping couples deal with differing libidos, struggles to feel desired, and problems surrounding initiating intimacy.
In this guide, you’ll learn why creative initiation tactics can often be the most effective.
You’ll also find a list of 27 relatively unique ideas to kick off some spicy intimacy.
So, let’s dive in.
Why Use Creative Ways To Initiate Intimacy?
In a long-term relationship, it’s only natural for your tried-and-tested bedroom moves to turn stale.
The raw animalistic desire fades, and the seductive routine that rocked their socks eventually becomes tired and predictable.
Now, add that to the stress and exhaustion which typically comes with work and raising a family. Maybe now it’s understandable that your partner occasionally rejects your advances, even though they love you more than ever.
The great thing about quirky methods to initiate intimacy is that it lightens the mood. It reminds your partner that life doesn’t have to be serious, routine, and logical. Not all the time, anyway. It’s arguably your role as their romantic partner to tempt out their fun, playful, and erotic side.
It also shows you care. You’ve taken the time to plan out something unique and fun to keep the sparks alive. If both partners are regularly doing that, there’s little else stopping you from enjoying intimacy with each other throughout your entire relationship.
The effort to lighten the mood and show you care is often enough to inspire most men and women to feel more sexually open, even if they were feeling stressed and tired just moments earlier.
There’s an inherent vulnerability that comes with these big unique gestures. That might stop any guy or girl from giving it a try. But it’s this vulnerability that often makes the move more appreciated by the partner.
Remember, it’s only weird if you make it weird. Make your playful pass – and own it! You might be very pleased with the result if you do…
Related: 22 Insights – When A Guy Says He Wants You Sexually
27 Creative Ways To Initiate Intimacy
Take a pick of these 27 ideas to initiate love-making and spice up your intimate life.
1. Give Them A Long Passionate Kiss
There’s your usual day-to-day kissing. Then, there’s the lingering deep sexual kissing, which you usually save for the bedroom. Take hold of your partner, hit them with the bedroom kiss when they’re not expecting it, and watch how they respond.
2. Let Your Hands Run Wild
During your normal hugs and cuddles that you (hopefully) share throughout the day, let your hands go where they really want to feel. Explore your partner’s body, perhaps give them a playful squeeze on the butt. If they respond well, let your exploring become more intimate.
3. Undress In Front Of Your Partner
Rather than removing your clothes in the bedroom, face them, lock eye contact, and take off your clothes slowly. The seductive strip tease is difficult to pull off, but give it your best shot, and don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself.
Related: 140+ Best Seduction Quotes To Fuel Your Relationship
A shared shower can be hot and steamy in several ways. Rather than going straight for penetration, run your hands over them to help them wash. If this arouses them, this may lead into something more intimate.
5. Run A Bubble Bath
Go all out! Add the bubbles, bath salts, the right lighting, and possibly an Usher mixtape. Maybe even add a couple of glasses of champagne. How could any men or women refuse such an enticing invitation after a hard day at work?
6. Take Your Time Getting Dressed After A Shower
What’s the rush anyway? Instead of being in such a hurry to put some clothes on, why not walk around for a short while? Perhaps engage in some seductive pillow talk with your partner and see how they respond.
7. Whisper In Their Ear
Whispering sweet nothings in their ear has romantic connotations, but what if your words were purely filthy? The seductive words and warm breath in their ear might be just the trick to seduce your beloved partner. Bonus points for initiating in public.
8. Set The Mood While They’re Preparing For Bed
Don’t have a suitable bathroom for a romantic winding-down? Then, how about you set up your bedroom with some extra-romantic gifts at night as they’re having their evening shower? Two glasses of wine, chocolates, lighting, The Weekend on the speakers, vibrator on the bed. Perfection.
9. Watch A Sexy Film
There are plenty of tasteful adult films available to watch online that may help to set the mood. There are also some that are so bad that they’re funny, which might be better for those who are too impatient to wait until the end of a ‘Netflix and Chill’ session to make their move.
10. Wear Lingerie
One for the women. Buy yourself some eye-popping lingerie to wear and seduce your man into bed. Consider revealing it to him outside of the bedroom, then luring him in with your come-to-bed eyes. Most times, he’ll go weak with desire.
11. Sleep Naked
Are you normally a pajama person? Well, what might happen if for one night only you donned your birthday suit to bed? Then, you nudge your torso into there’s, grab their hands and let them feel your naked body.
For what it’s worth, as well as the intimacy benefits, there are also several suspected health benefits to sleeping naked too.
12. Wake Them Up With A Special Kiss
A ‘downstairs kiss’ is the way that most men dream of waking up, and probably plenty of women too. So, why not make their dreams come true next time you don’t have an early start?
13. Sext Them Your Wildest And Dirtiest Fantasies
To make your sexting extra-seductive, make it about what you want to do to them once they get home. A message like this is the perfect way to add some spice to their work shift and have them thinking about you all day.
14. Send Nudes
If you don’t love the idea of sending full nudes, send something more subtle. Honestly, this is a better tip for women to seduce their partners. Sorry guys, it’s true that the male body just isn’t as visually appealing and no woman wants your dick-pic, not even your wife.
15. Naked Massage
There are few men or women who could say ‘no’ to a massage from their loved one after a tough day at the office. If that turns into a naked massage, it’s surely even better. Don’t put any pressure on this to transition into full intercourse. Take your time, focus on the massage and let whatever else happens, happen.
16. Undress Your Partner
There’s something seductive about having your partner’s hands all over your body as they take off your clothes. This is an act which most couples lose as they get used to each other for practical reasons. Put on some sexy music, undress them like you did in the good old days and you’ll be unlikely to feel any resistance.
17. Suck Their Fingers While Making Eye Contact
The fingers are an underrated and under-utilised erogenous zone. This is an intimate action worth trying if you’ve never done it before.
18. Try ‘The Naked Man’
This move was made hilariously famous by ‘How I Met Your Mother’. The inventor of the move, Mitch, claims that it works two out of every three times. That’s pretty good odds, and it might even be higher with a long-term partner. You’re less likely to get the police called in a loving relationship, anyway. There’s nothing wrong with trying ‘The Naked Woman’ either. The odds of that one working are probably a lot higher.
Related: Effective Tips: How To Be A Better Lover
19. Take Them To A Sex Shop
There are plenty of classy upmarket sex shops knocking around town these days. Even if you don’t buy anything, the naughtiness of the experience might set the mood for later on. If this idea feels too seedy, perhaps try an online sex shop instead.
20. Whisper The ‘Unsafe Word’
You may have heard of the concept of a ‘safe word’ in some communities. This is the random and innocent word you utter when the pain gets too much. Well, the ‘unsafe word’ is something you mention when you’re thinking of spicy action with your significant other. It’s an in-joke that works best in the most inappropriate situations. But, by all means, use it when you’re all alone and feeling aroused too.
21. Sexy Story-Telling
As you’re laid in bed, take turns telling erotic stories to each other. The aim is to recreate your partner’s fantasy while whispering in their ear and maybe slightly stroking their body. There’s nothing wrong with staying in character if the story does lead to something more physical.
22. First Encounter Roleplay
This is the next step forward from the erotic story. One partner goes out to a bar, the other meets them a few minutes later. Both have fake identities and the couple ‘meets’ for the first time. Maybe it’s James Bond meeting Marilyn Monroe for a first date. Perhaps you just change your names to meet for the first and last time. Hopefully, these new characters are enticing enough for the encounter to lead to a ‘one-night stand’.
23. Suggestive Post-It Notes
Post-it notes might not be seductive on their own, but they can still help to lighten the mood and your partner will appreciate the effort. A message with spicy language could certainly add some shock factor to break your partner out of their serious daily routine. This one probably isn’t for couples with kids.
24. Play The No Panties Game
Men find it deeply erotic when a woman reveals she’s not wearing panties in public. You might whisper this fact into his ear, or you can slyly remove your knickers in a public bathroom, then slip them into his pocket. Honestly, this is another idea that is only perceived as hot when women try it – and I have no idea why that is!
25. Flash Them In Public
It’s a bit riskier, but what an exciting way to add some spice to your everyday lives. Again, this might be one that men find sexier than women. Also, the public tends to be less forgiving to women should they get caught. They’re undeniably the fairer sex.
Yes, you’ll do this at your own risk, or else you’re risking legal trouble.
26. Adult Board Games
There are plenty of these available in special shops for you to purchase and play together. They can be as simple as dice with erotic instructions on them, but there are some complicated ones out there too.
27. Come Right Out And Say It!
“Hey, you sexy animal. Fancy a quickie?”
The bluntness and brashness of such a statement will be rare in most relationships, especially those that have fallen into staleness. As such, this bold move may prove to be a delightful change of pace.
Do Guys Like When You Initiate?
I can’t speak for all guys, but it’s a common domestic problem that guys feel they’re always initiating.
You better believe these guys would love for their partner to initiate now and again.
Honestly though, this is something you two need to be talking about once you’re in a serious relationship. Who should initiate? How does each of you like the other person to initiate intimacy? What type of initiation do you not love so much?
Physical intimacy becomes so much easier when you actually talk about it. So many couples are too embarrassed to talk about sex, even after they’re married, and it’s usually to the detriment of their relationship.
With that said, you’ll usually find that most men in a healthy relationship are absolutely delighted when their woman initiates. Very few men would prefer to be the only initiator.
Should I Spice Up My Sex Life Too?
A bit of imagination with the initiation of sex will go a long way into helping your partner feel more interested in love-making.
But it’s important to mix up the actual act of love-making too, because otherwise this can begin to feel a bit monotonous too.
So, take some time to read up on new positions, toys, or roleplays. Engage in subtle changes like initiating at different times of the day – or in different parts of the house – than what you’re used to.
Variety is what keeps intimacy – among many other things – fresh and exciting.
Of course, if you’re married and/or in love, you may not want a variety of partners. So, it’s therefore important to engage in a variety of love-making experiences instead.
This is what helps intimacy with a long-term partner feel fresh and exciting, even after many years.
Related: 65 Signs He Wants You Badly Sexually & How To React
More Inspiration needed?
I hope you enjoyed this article. It was one of my more light-hearted posts, but playfulness is often the way to solve this serious problem!
If you need more inspiration, I highly recommend the Netflix documentary ‘Sex, Love & Goop’
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