Want to cheer up a loved one via text?
Learn how to make someone feel better over text in 33 powerful strategies with examples.
Let’s dive in.
1. Try to Guess Their Emotions
People like being heard. So when you try guessing how your loved one feels, they feel greatly consoled even when you guess wrong.
It can also lead them to clarify what they feel which furthers the conversation.
It can be something like, “You must be feeling (fill in the emotion) given (the situation)” or text “That sounds awful” while your friend tells their experience.
2. Allow Them to Vent Their Problem
Especially early in the struggle, most people just want a listening ear – no advice, no opinion.
Spilling their thoughts and feelings not only helps them see their perspective more clearly but also helps them get the weight off their chest – which makes them feel better. It’s confirmed by the role of interdependence in simple terms, “Shared sorrow is half a sorrow”
You can prompt this using a text like:
- “Do you want to talk about it? I’m here to listen”
3. Relate Their Worries With Their Background
When you relate your loved one’s plight with their background, it shows you understand the weight of the situation which relieves them of some burden.
Look at these two statements:
- “I know you’ve lost your girlfriend so you must be feeling awful.”
- “I understand you’ve invested so much in this relationship from moving to a new town to even introducing her to your family and now it’s like a big part of your life is gone. You must be feeling awful.”
The first statement doesn’t show the recipient you understand their plight much but the second shows you’ve been paying attention and are up close with their feelings which is deeply consoling.
4. Validate Their Struggles
When you validate your loved one’s struggles, it makes them feel better since they feel you accept them for who they are. And that it’s okay to feel the way they’re feeling.
Texting them something like:
- “It’s okay to feel how you feel, if I was in your situation, I’d feel the same way.”
5. Remind Them of How Amazing They Are
When struggling, most people tend to look at their failures more which makes them feel worse. But if someone shows them how awesome they are, it makes them feel better.
You can make someone feel better by texting;
- “I know you’re going through a rough time right now but I want to remind you of how amazing you are – (list their good qualities)”
- “These problems don’t define you, I know you – (remind them when they overcame.)”
6. Send Some Uplifting Quotes
After some time listening to someone’s problems and validating their struggles, you can use powerful quotes to make a person smile.
Here are some inspirational quotes to help make someone feel better over text:
- “Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.” – Oprah Winfrey
- “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou
- “It is never to late to be what you might have been.” – George Elliot
- “A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” – Christopher Reeve
- “Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” – Hellen Keller
While checking in on a friend reveals your care for them, they might feel pressured to update you in the midst of their crisis. However, you can relieve them of this pressure by telling them:
- “I felt I should check on you. But take your time to respond, no pressure.”
8. Send Them Stories They Could Relate To
It’s really consoling to know someone can go an extra mile for you in this way.
Here’s how you can frame your text:
- “I found a story similar to yours and thought it might help you know you’re not alone in this. And that you can overcome. With love( or use a more creative sign off)”
- “I discovered a community of people going through similar circumstances and thought you might find it helpful.”
- “I discovered this piece about (the situation they’re going through) and thought it might be helpful.”
9. Ask What’s on Their Mind
“What’s on your mind right now?”
A text as simple as that can help someone relieve their brain of the thought overload they’ve had in their crisis.
10. Ask Them How They’re Feeling
“How are you feeling right now?”
Just like asking what they’re thinking about, inquiring over their feelings lets them know that you care and gives you space to console them.
Related: Ways Out Of ‘I Don’t Know How I Feel’
11. Ask Them How You Can Help
They’ve shared their problems, they’ve told you their opinion over their plight, and how they’ve been feeling. Now what?
Offer your help.
Too much talk without action helps no one feel better, at least not in the long term. So let them know they can be free to ask for help from you.
You can use text messages such as:
- “I know you’re going through a hard time right now, is there anything I could do to help?”
- “How can I best support you in these tough times?”
- “I can offer any of this assistance in this tough time- (babysit your kids or drop them off at school in the morning/ I can pay for the hospital bills or whatever you can do). Which one can I help you with?”
This last one is an option to put out all you can do for that person so you can avoid demands you have to say no to in case you can’t make it.
12. Put Down Lyrics of Uplifting Music They Like
Some people’s moods can be easily remedied by music. If that’s the case for the person you want to feel better, this is one of the best options for you.
For instance, here are some uplifting lyrics of Hall of Fame:
You can throw your hands up, you can beat the clock (Yeah)
You can move a mountain, you can break rocks
Some will call it practice, some will call it luck
But either way you’re going to the history book
Standin’ in the Hall of Fame (Yeah)
And the world’s gonna know your name (Yeah)
‘Cause you burn with the brightest flame (Yeah)
And the world’s gonna know your name (Yeah)…
13. Write Up Some Poetry
Do poems make them tick?
If your friend loves poetry, it’s time to make artistic moves. You can create a poem of your own about them or check uplifting poems online.
It could be about how amazing they are or an encouragement that they can overcome or any other uplifting direction seeming fit for you.
14. Send Them Some Jokes
A laugh could surely make someone feel better. You need to ask for permission though so you’re not met with cold resentment.
A text message like, “Hey I know you’re going through tough times, so I want to try making you smile with some silly jokes, would you let me?”
Send funny jokes that align with you’re friend’s sense of humor.
Related: How To Be Enough For Someone: 17 Effective Tips
15. Relate Them With Their Favorite Character
If you know the person quite well, you probably know their favorite character in movies, books, or whatever piece of art they enjoy. This is a great chance to make them feel better.
Get to know their favorite character deeply so you can give them an analogy of their plight in relation to their favorite character. You see how they do it in movies (someone getting perspective over something because they’re advised based on someone they like in a movie, Bible, or any other piece of art) – it does work in real life as well.
You can start with, “Do you want to imagine how (insert their favorite character) will look at this?”
16. Send Them Memes They Like
The language someone uses to console you is likely the language they can respond well to when it’s used on them.
Therefore, if your friend loves sending you memes even when you’re in distress, do the same for them.
17. Text Them With Gifs
When texting, GIFs bring the word to life by making it possible to express yourself in the body language you’d use during in person conversations.
Consoling words like “I love you,” “I’m here for you,” “You’re not alone,” can be expressed in a better way with the best funny GIFs.
18. Convince Them to Chat With Emojis
Visuals can lighten moods by a great deal. Moreover, they can distract someone quickly enough to make them feel better.
Go through an entire conversation without words and let them share what they feel.
You can begin with a couple holding hands (If you’re a couple), or two people holding hands if you’re together and give emoji chatting a shot.
- “I was thinking we’d have an awesome afternoon, grabbing some pizza and shooting aliens while talking out this issue, would you like that?”
- “I was planning a retreat at X place so we can get your mind off things and recharge, what do you think?”
Whether big or small, plans you may have to help your friend feel better since they can look forward to the activity instead of dwelling on the problems they have.
When you’ve listened to the plight of your friend, it’s time to ask questions as if you’re also in trouble.
You can ask them:
- “So what are we going to do?”
- “So how are we going to solve this?”
- “How do we make sense of this?”
This helps them feel better and even get the strength to stand just because someone else is ready to stand with them.
21. Ask Them to Do Silly Stuff With You
According to Psychology Today silly stuff can be extremely healthy for the brain.
Especially if they’re ruminating on the problem without progress, some silly activities would help them learn to stop taking themselves too seriously and instead take some steps forward for the sake of progress.
- “Ready to do silly stuff to get your mind off things?”
- “Come on, join me in some silly activities. It’ll help you take a breath and think things through. What do you say?”
22. Give Them Options to Choose From
- “What do you want to do, an evening out someplace nice or takeout and movies?
- “What might make you feel better, staycation over the weekend at Leserene or camping in the countryside?”
Using this text shows you understand that people cope with stress diffferently and are willing to go an extra mile to do what lightens up their moods.
But in case they say no, there’s another way.
23. Apply Their Consoling Tactic
The way someone consoles others is likely the way they feel better when consoled. Therefore, find out what makes them tick with a text message like:
- “If I were in your situation, I’d love it when someone does X(how you like being consoled). Would that help you feel better?”
- “What would you do for me to feel better if I were in your situation?”
24. Get Them to Talk in Another Way
- “Do you want to talk about this with a phone call?”
- “Is it better to talk about this face to face on a video call?”
- “Do you want to talk more about this over dinner?”
- “Do you prefer we video chat about this while listening to music like old times”
Perhaps they’re not a texting kind of person. Or maybe you’re not. Maybe the situation needs more one-on-one communication.
Related: Best Ways To Comfort Someone – Psychology Backed
25. Recommend They Talk to a Counselor
- “Would you consider talking to a professional about this?”
- “I think we’ve tried working out this issue for quite a while but it seems deeper than we can handle alone. Would you be okay with involving a coach/counselor?
Showing this level of care about his or her feelings helps them feel much more cared for, especially if they’ve been stuck for a while.
26. Get Them Into Action Using Questions
While they may not feel better for the moment since getting out of their comfort zone is hard, you’re loved one would feel better when they get out of the stuck state, and thank you for saving their life.
Here are text messages you can use:
- “What are you thinking of doing now?”
- “Have you thought about (fill in the action)?
27. Validate and Make Indirect Suggestions
Proposing a solution after you’ve validated one’s qualities and efforts makes them momentarily feel better and improves their wellbeing in the long run as well.
- “You’ve really handled this situation well, it’ll be even better if you do X for (insert how it’ll help them)
28. Tell Them to Explain Some Previous Point
When you ask for clarification where things don’t make sense to you, it makes your loved one (whether a family member, best friend, colleague, acquitance, or even stranger) feel better since their story is important to you.
You can text:
- “Did you mean (say what you thought they meant) when you said (what they said) earlier? Help me understand”
29. Help Them See the Big Picture
Even when in trouble, if someone could focus on the big picture, they’d realize things would be much brighter and will therefore lighten up.
You can be the person to show them the big picture by texting:
- “I know you’re going through a rough patch right now but think of your big picture. (Paint their big picture) This is just a challenge along the way – your vision is bigger than this.”
- “I know it’s tough to see the bright side of this situation but tell me about your vision/dream. Let’s visualize it together.”
30. Compliment How They’re Handling the Stress
Telling your loved one they’re doing great despite what they’re experiencing can help them feel a ton better and even strengthen them further to overcome.
- “For someone experiencing X situation, you’re really handling this well.”
Related: Feeling Lost: 20 Insights And How To Find Meaning Again
31. Analyse the Grim Together
Many people wish someone could get a glimpse of their dark story and analyse the mistakes, consequences, and all manner of dark thoughts without judgement.
You can offer this chance by texting them:
- “Tell me your darkest thoughts and feelings about this issue – no filters. I want to understand what you feel.”
32. Ask Them About Their Progress
Checking in on someone’s progress since you talked can help them focus on the changes that have happened and feel better because of their progress.
- “How have you been since we last talked? Let’s talk about physical changes first.”
33. Reassure Them That You’ll Walk With Them
- “I’m not going anywhere, we’ll walk this through together.”
- “I’ll never let you walk alone. We’re in this together.”
Nothing sounds better than someone finding space in their timeline to not only listen to uour troubles but also walk with you in them.
Questions on Making Someone Feel Better Over Text
How do you comfort a friend over text? How to comfort someone over text when they feel lonely
- Try to Guess Their Emotions
- Allow Them to Vent Their Problem
- Relate Their Worries With Their Background
- Validate Their Struggles
- Remind Them of How Amazing They Are
- Send Some Uplifting Quotes
- Tell Them to Share as Much as They Want
- Send Them Stories They Could Relate To
- Ask What’s on Their Mind
- Ask Them How They’re Feeling
- Ask Them How You Can Help
- Put Down Lyrics of Uplifting Music They Like
- Write Up Some Poetry
- Send Them Some Funny Joke
- Relate Them With Their Favorite Character
Related: Levels Of Listening – Complete Guide
How do you make someone not sad over text? How to cheer someone up with words
- “Do you want to talk about it? I’m here to listen”
- “I know you’ve lost your girlfriend so you must be feeling awful.”
- “How can I best support you in these tough times?”
- “These problems don’t define you my friend.”
- “How are you feeling right now?”
- “So what are we going to do?”
- “Ready to do silly stuff to get your mind off things?”
- “I’m not going anywhere, we’ll walk this through together.”
- “Do you want to talk about this on phone?”
- “What are you thinking of doing now?”
- “I’ll never let you walk alone. We’re in this together.”
How to comfort someone over text when they are suicidal
- “Hey, I love you.”
- “You know I’ll always be here for you.”
- “You’ve been on my mind since morning.”
- “I know you’re going through a lot and it’s overwhelming. But remember, I’m here for you.”
- “You came to this world for a reason. Hold on till the bad day is over and you’ll be thankful you made it.”
- “I believe in you.”
Wrapping Up
Making someone feel better over text gets easier with practice.
