Welcome to my video course including the 16 best ways to boost your self-esteem.
1st Step: I highly recommend first watching my video in which I summarize the most important concepts of how to boost your self-esteem.
2nd Step: If you want to study more, here are some notes and additional material for you.
Understanding the Root Of Your Self-Esteem
- formed in our early childhood
- directly related to how (and how much) we received love & affirmations
- Which behavior of yours led to love?
- In which circumstances did you receive love?
- we carry this subconscious pattern in adulthood
- developing of “safety behaviors” that other people see us in a better light and that we don’t have to face our beliefs about ourselves. For example:
- People pleasing
- Not speaking up for ourselves
Important Questions to reflect on:
- How do I feel about myself?
- How do I treat myself?
- What do you think if you look in the mirror?
- How is your ability to:
- ask others for help?
- say NO to others?
- respect yourself?
The following video goes more in-depth about these aspects:
1. Understand Your Inner Dynamics
Inner Critic Part – vs. – Vulnerable, Younger Part
- Inner Critic behavior copied from whom?
- Instead of getting rid of it give both parts compassion and understanding.
- Maybe you can start an inner dialog with both parts of you. Questions to ask:
- What do you want for me?
- What is your intention?
- Is your behavior (harsh communication) the only way to get there?
- What do you need?
- Your “Adult Part” can nurture, love, care and protect your “Child Part”
This whiteboard video explains our inner dynamics very well:
2. Mirror – Say Nice Things To Yourself
Saying nice things to yourself, looking in the mirror will, over time, change your attitude towards yourself.
“Love Bomb” yourself looking in the mirror. 😀❤️
3. 5 year Old Picture
Put a picture of you when you were 5 or 6 years old on your bathroom mirror.
Give this younger version of you love every day. This way you do backwards healing.
Become the best friend of your younger self.
4. Imagine talking To Your Best Friend
Imagine your best friend is in the same situation as you and asks for your advice. What do you tell them?
In this situation, you know exactly what words to choose and to be compassionate and encouraging.
Treat yourself exactly the same way you treat your best friend.
5. Identify your Strength
Make a list of all the things you are good at.
- I’m mostly friendly to other people
- I’m good at listening
- I’m good at making others laugh
Also, list your small achievements
- finished school
- had a good mood today
- went outside in nature today
If you run out of ideas ask your friends & family about your positive qualities. You will be surprised how much they come up with.
6. Break The Downward Spiral
We are often stuck in the following downward spiral
- We think less of ourselves
- We don’t take care of ourselves
- cloths / hygiene / junkfood / alkohol / drugs
- These things fire back and let us feel even more miserable about ourselves
Escape this dangerous spiral with little steps in the right direction. For example:
- Have a shower or a bath every day
- dress nicely
- Exchange your next burger with a salad
- invite a friend to make a (positive) challenge out of it.
Meditation trains you to be more aware of your thoughts. It can be a powerful tool to change your negative self-talk.
If you are more interested in this topic I recommend the APP www.headspace.com. You can test it for free and I find it very helpful.
8. Group Exercise – Positive Speculating
Get together with a bunch of friends or even strangers and speculate wildly about their positive attitudes and qualities.
Three important rules:
- No negative comments allowed
- The person that is speculated about isn’t allowed to say anything.
- Spend at least 15 minutes for each person
It is nice, if one of the speculators takes notes and hands them at the end of the process over to the speculee (does this word exist??? 😉 )
9. Love Letter To Yourself
Write a love letter to yourself.
Acknowledge that we are all just imperfect human beings and that it is totally normal to make mistakes and fail.
Try to see yourself more realistic with a non-judgmental attitude.
11. Power Posing
Power posing is a powerful, scientifically proven method to boost your self-confidence immediately.
Hold your body for 3 minutes in a “Superwomen” pose and you will feel a shift in your mood and confidence.
In this video, Harvard Professor Amy Cuddy explores this topic more in-depth:
12. Listen to Music
Listening to music with a strong beat, that let’s you feel good helps to lift your self-esteem level.
If you search for “Mood Booster Playlist” you find several options.
13. Believe In Your Ability To Improve
- Growth Mindset
- Fixed Mindset
If you believe that you can improve your self-esteem you will. It’s just a matter of practice and how often you try.
If you want to dig deeper into this topic I highly recommend the book of
14. Practice Failure
J.K. Rolling was rejected 12 times before a publisher accepted Harry Potter.
The more you fail and pursue anyway the closer you get to your goal.
The TED Talk of Dr. Ivan Joseph is very inspiring, regarding this aspect:
15. Stop Comparing Yourself
Studies show that social media and comparing ourselves with others make us feel miserable.
Always remind yourself you only see the “outside” and not the “inside” of people!!!
Strictly limiting social media time can help you feel better about yourself.
16. Face Your Fears
Purposely break your “Safety Behavior” and do the opposite of what you would normally do.
Start small and see what happens.
Often you will be surprised. Your internally painted horror scenarios won’t play out.
Be kind to yourself on the journey to strong self-esteem. It is totally normal to fall back into your usual behavior patterns.
Give yourself time to change from the inside out.
If you follow the above steps regularly and put in the work, you will develop bulletproof self-esteem.
Deeper Dive Into Your Subconscious?
If you liked my video course and are interested in a deeper personal transformation using the power of your subconscious check out my advanced course: